


Wrapped In Red

by PotionsMistressM



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Kayfabe, Storyline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2692433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotionsMistressM/pseuds/PotionsMistressM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five traditions experienced during Kane and Lita's first Christmas together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Run, Run Rudolph

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Holiday Traditions challenge at . The prompt I chose was _Five holiday traditions of your favorite character(s)_ , and the traditions I dealt with are: Christmas TV, Christmas cookies, Christmas incense, Mistletoe, and Christmas presents.
> 
> Completely kayfabe, set during the 2004 storyline marriage between Kane and Lita.

"What do you mean you've never seen _Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer_?" Even though her phone's connection was kind of tinny and he could hear the normal clamor and roar of the backstage of _Raw_ in the background, there was no mistaking the notes of utter disbelief in Lita's voice. 

"I mean," Kane said, a hint of irritation creeping up in his words, "that I have never seen _Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer_. You remember I grew up in an insanse asylum, right?"

When Lita responded, her voice was almost shrill with astonishment. "An insane asylum on _Mars_? Seriously, man. I'm pretty sure every other human on earth has seen _Rudolph_."

"Maybe they thought it would add to the patients' delusions." Although his instinct was to be defensive and snap at anyone who dared to comment on his childhood, he was trying very hard to act like a normal human being around Lita, even if it was only because he was terrified she was one wrong word away from leaving him. And besides, if he was being totally and completely honest, her enthusiasm for the holidays was kind of contagious.

"Whatever," she answered. "We're watching it as soon as I get home."

Kane narrowed his eyes. "How can you be so sure it'll be on when you get home?" Although he believed it possible that his wife had committed the entire Christmas television schedule to memory, he wondered how, between traffic and weather variables, she could gauge exactly what time she would return home from the road.

"I have it on DVD."

"Why the hell do you have a DVD of a kid's Christmas special?"

"Dude," she answered, taking on the air of someone explaining an especially rudimentary subject to an exceptionally dim child. "It's _**Rudolph**_."


	2. Christmas Cookies

Kane had always prided himself on not being normal. He had turned on his own brother and buried him alive simply because Taker- in his opinion- had become too mainstream. And yet as he turned the corner into the kitchen, he was stopped dead by the absolute normality of the site that met him.

Behind a counter strewn with ingredients, utensils, and sprinkles, and with flour dusting her hands and a bit of her forehead she'd obviously touched without thinking, stood his wife. The warm air of the kitchen smelled like vanilla and sugar, and he could even see snow falling through the windows behind her. The absolute picture of holiday domesticity.

Except, of course, that his wife was Lita. Lita, who was wearing shorts despite the snow. Lita, who- instead of Christmas carols- was happily whistling music from _Super Mario Brothers_. Lita, who made her living beating up other women (and sometimes men) and whose Women's Championship belt was currently sitting on the kitchen table, on top of a pile of mail. Not exactly the President-of-the-PTA type.

Feeling his eyes on her, Lita looked up, a smirk twisting her lips as she stopped whistling and brought the wooden spoon out of the mixing bowl. Without looking away from him, she slowly ran her finger over the bowl of the spoon, scooping up stray dough, and with a cock of her eyebrow, she held that finger out to him.

"Want a taste?"


	3. The Fire Is So Delightful

"Goddammit!" Lita spat, utterly defeated by the tiny stick pinched precariously between the thumb and index finger of her left hand. In her right hand was a Bic lighter, though it might as well have been a weak cardboard match for all of the good it was doing. "You were designed to burn, you little bitch," she growled at the incense, which- no matter how she tried- refused to light.

The little incense burner in the shape of a log cabin was a tradition in her family. She remembered being enthralled as a child by the way the smoke came out of the cabin's tiny chimney during Christmas at her grandmother's house and being so excited when her mother had bought an identical burner for their own home. Lita had spent so many hours during her childhood staring at it, making up stories in her head about the little families that lived there, celebrating their own tiny Christmases, and to this very day she didn't feel like it was officially Christmas until she had lit a log of the incense, inhaled the complete and utter _Christmas-ness_ of the smell, and spent at least a bit of time watching the smoke flow out of the chimney, wondering what make-believe story was going on in there this year. This was the first year she had ever been in a genuinely confusing and strange situation for the holidays, she thought as she glowered down at the incense once again; having her little cabin working its magic would go a long way toward calming the nerves that were continuously being jangled by living with Kane. Taking a deep breath, she tried the lighter one more time, but as she tilted it toward the incense she must have gone too far, feeling the sting as flame licked up her thumb. With a yelp and a string of expletives, Lita dropped the lighter.

"What are you doing?" Kane's voice came from the opening between the dining room and living room, where he was leaning against the wall, watching her. _He's making a habit of that_ , she thought, slightly irritated.

"I'm trying to light this stupid incense!" With purposeful strides, Kane crossed the room, picked up the lighter, and held out his hand to her. She glared at him, but handed him the little log of incense anyway. Before she could even open her mouth to make a snarky comment he had somehow coaxed a tiny wisp of smoke from the tip of the incense, and after making sure the flame had caught, he placed it in the cabin and turned back to her with a self-deprecating shrug.

"Burning things is kind of what I do."


	4. Oh By Gosh, By Golly

He had hung it above the doorway she most likely would come in through when she came home, and as he waited to hear her car pull up the driveway he felt an almost childlike glee. Her Christmas spirit was rubbing off on him, and though he would still not be voted Mayor of Whoville any time soon, he wanted to prove to her that he was trying. 

It was late by the time she finally made it home, but Kane was ready. He had it all planned; he would just happen to be casually walking out of the kitchen as she came in through the garage door and after he helped her with her bags he would off-handedly suggest that she look up. It was a win-win situation- she would be impressed by his iniative in the Christmas decoration department, and he would get a kiss.

The door from the garage creaked open, and Kane set his plan into motion, "accidentally" meeting her at the door and grabbing her bags from her. After exchaning greetings, he turned away for a moment, only to turn back a moment later as if he'd only just remembered to tell her something.

"Hey, I found something while you were gone," he said, as disinterestedly as he could manage, while jerking his chin toward the ceiling. At first, Lita narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but as she caught site of the plant hanging over the doorway, she smirked.

"Really? You just happened to find that?" As she'd been speaking, he'd approached her, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her into himself. After he nodded an affirmative to her question, he bent his head down and kissed her, slow and deep. 

By the time the kiss ended, both of them were breathless and it was obvious that the plant had more than served its intended purpose. As Lita leaned into him once again, he could feel her smile as she stood to whisper in his ear. "Babe, I hate to break it to you, but that's not mistletoe. It's cilantro."

Taken aback, Kane looked genuinely saddened and confused- just one more thing about her favorite holiday that he had gotten wrong. "But what are people supposed to do under cilantro?"

Lita only licked her lips and smirked at him, raising her eyebrows. "Come upstairs and I'll show you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally stole the mistletoe/cilantro mix-up from _Caroline In The City_ , a show even older than this WWE storyline.


	5. All I Want For Christmas Is You

"I, um... I really had no idea what to get you." Kane cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the little box in his hands. This was a stupid idea, and she was going to hate it. Of course she was going to hate it. "So, I asked Taker what he thought I should get you." Instead of asking _her_ what she wanted. Good job, Kane, you just ruined your first real Christmas since you were eight. "And, uh... well... Taker said I should get you a diamond." Because you never did, you idiot. You married this woman and never even bothered to buy her a ring. Sure, she wears the wedding ring, but you were too busy pretending she was only some prize and that you didn't actually care about her when you got engaged. Stupid. "But, I, um... I said I didn't really think you were a diamond kind of girl." That statement had sounded better, more logical in his head. The little package was dwarfed in his hands, and he could not keep from fidgeting with it. "Taker said that all girls were diamond kinds of girls, so I looked, but I didn't see anything that I thought you'd like. I mean, I've never seen you wear real jewelry, so..." Oh, God, Kane, now she's going to think you got her present at Claire's. "But then I saw this, and it really reminded me of you, and, uh... Merry Christmas." 

He didn't even lift his eyes as he handed her the box, its velvety surface now slightly damp. How had he not noticed his hands sweating? Next to him on the couch he heard the pop as the hinged lid of the box was opened and an instant gasp from his wife.

"Oh, Kane! They're perfect!" Lita exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck and planting a lingering kiss on his cheek, and a giant weight fell from Kane's chest. God, he had been so worried. Even the salesman at the jewelry store had tried to talk him out of his choice; after all, who comes in looking for an engagement ring and leaves with a pair of diamond-encrusted earrings in the shape of skulls and crossbones? Sighing, he hugged her back.


End file.
